Purpose

YOU DON’T NEED THE PROCESSES AND STRUCTURE BULLSHIT WHEN YOU GOT THAT MAGIC DOWNLOAD UNICORN AWE-SOME SHIT GOING ON!!

Over the last few days I found myself doing something I VERY rarely indulge in these days.

I was QUESTIONING the way that I show up.

Specifically I was questioning how I showed up as a speaker at the event I just spoke at. See, when I speak, I show up the same way I do as a writer.

Open mouth (or put pen to paper, so to speak) –

See what comes out.

There’s not a single thing I’ve written for years now where I’ve thought for even a SECOND about what I was going to say. Same goes for my livestreams. I’ll choose a topic (out of thin air, usually, or sometimes inspired by a conversation, a client, a FB post, whatever), but once the camera is on and I’m live it’s really just hold on and see where the ride takes me.

I tend to completely forget my topic or intention within the first few seconds and I’m off and running, generally never even actually coming back to the point and definitely not very often managing to FINISH a point. I got tangents in my tangents baby!

I show up this way first and foremost because I can’t NOT, and some time back I basically just got sick of not being me, it was fucking tiring and so I gave in to who I AM, but I also show up this way because I fully believe that a true messenger, creator, artist, LEADER, lets the work flow through them.

And my BEST work flows when I get out of the way and let it do what it wants.

I’d bet good money it’s the same for you. Of course whether or not you’re letting that work out is another matter entirely, isn’t it, because what generally happens is we QUESTION. Or we get caught up in the bullshit of imagining that we need to first learn HOW. Or we simply don’t feel GOOD enough, and so we don’t.

And so on.

And so forth.

And then you die.

Given that this is the REALITY, even for most of those who are called for POWERFUL work, I long ago made a decision:

I’m going to let whatever wants to come out of me finally and FULLY come out.

Every day.

No matter what.

And since then that’s REALLY all I’ve done, and I’ve done it first and foremost because I can’t NOT, and I’ve done it for ME, so if you think I write and speak and unleash for you sorry to let you down but it’s ALL just selfish, and even the fact that I now have a multi-million dollar location free business FULLY based around said writing and unleashing is just a nice bonus and really only a result of the fact that I set an intention to let the money flow.

But did I, do I, write for the money, speak for the money, show up to get paid?

No.

I stopped doing that when I realised it was KILLING MY FUCKING SOUL.

And I committed to being me from that day forward, even if I NEVER made another cent.

So when I found myself questioning yesterday, in the lead up to my speech, a tiny bit even throughout (fuck! should be FLOWING when talking, not THINKING!), and then still more afterwards, I felt pretty annoyed at myself.

I damn well know my own preachings and I sure as shit do NOT believe that being a great writer or speaker depends upon STRUCTURE, but yet here I was wondering if maybe I shouldn’t have just a LITTLE bit more fore-thought and structure to what I do.

Maybe I should have even scripted that shit OUT!

Maybe if I thought things through more in advance I’d be BETTER?!

And then it hit me:

Better at WHAT? At delivering a rehearsed speech with barely even shallow transformative benefit? At getting an audience to respond like monkeys? Or maybe at getting the 99.99% (ugh!) to jump through some fucking hoops and buy my shit.

What a fucking joke!

I think I’ll just stick with being me, and letting stuff come out how it WANTS to come out, and besides which – every time I decide to NOT be me and to try and do things a more ‘proper’ way it really doesn’t work so well!

I end up caving 🙂

Or flaking out.

Or just flat out running AWAY.

You too???

Thought so.

So yes, I’ll stick with being me, because it’s all I ever end up managing to DO, and because it’s kind of more fun and EASY, and those alone are reasons enough, but here is what else –

And this hit me later on yesterday, as we cruised on out to Ryan Stewman’s house post event to chill, as I was running through it in the car and trying to figure out why I felt unSETTLED a bit –

I was unsettled first and foremost because I spent the better part of 3 days in a roomful of SO NOT MY PEOPLE and it kind of fucking drained my soul and energy.

But I was unsettled also because I temporarily went away from simply trusting in my magic.

And I went back to the old way, the normal way (I suppose all that normal in the room rubbed off on me a bit!), of thinking that the way to be GOOD at something was to LEARN HOW and then DO the how.

Motherfucker, right! Who the hell do I THINK I am questioning that shit?!

Fortunately, as we drove and talked it out I remembered I’m Kat Fucking Loterzo and I don’t follow freakin’ RULES to unleash my magic! And suddenly I realised –

It’s not ‘bad’ that I just can’t be fucked doing things ‘properly’.

I’m not being lazy.

I’m not being undisciplined.

I’m not being a BAD writer | speaker | leader.

And no, I should definitely NOT try and get my shit more together and do it right, because baby I’ve got that MAGIC inside of me and when I trust in it and let it out there ain’t a process or proper procedure in the WORLD that I need to worry about!!

And neither do you.

But for this to WORK, this whole thing of being you and just going with the flow that comes THROUGH you, you DO have to fully trust IN that magic.

You can’t very well be HALF releasing your truth, can you now?! And you sure as shit can’t blend letting the MAGIC out with trying to follow a plan.

And I started to get riled up, as I thought about it.

Like – what the actual fuck?! I nearly thought I should actually CARE about doing it right! I was feeling GUILTY for not being a ‘real’ grown-up speaker person!

Thank God I remembered who I am.

Thank GOD I remembered where EVERY SINGLE AWESOME THING I’VE EVER CREATED HAS COME FROM, and that is from this:

Tuning the fuck IN baby.

Turning in.

And tuning in.

LISTENING in.

And releasing.

Without question.

Without filter.

Without PAUSE.

Whatever.the fuck.comes out.

And here is what it comes down to and where we make it SIMPLE:

You and I? We’re different from the other entrepreneurs baby. We got that whole magic unicorn shit thing going on, and when we decide we WANT something we just GET it and when we decide to just BE who we actually are and trust that that’s enough then we just KNOW –

Intuitively.

What to say.

What to write.

What to create.

How to show UP.

So today, I ask you, simply –

Which side of the line do you wanna dance on? You wanna be over there rolling out pretty little processes and systems and structure and gettin’ people to jump through hoops because you ain’t got no SUBSTANCE or you’re just not willing to tap in?

Or you wanna say fuck it.

For the rest of your life.

And turn into the magic.

If you trust in what’s inside of you, and you get out of your own way, and you are DISCIPLINED enough to not QUESTION what you KNOW to be true, you just might find, as I did:

You already know how to kick ass at being you.

Go do that.

Remember:

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat

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