HOW I FUCKED IT ALL UP
Before I really understood what success is really about and how it so DESPERATELY requires you to be you, all of you, not a single jot less than you, I got caught up in listening to the rules.
You know the ones I’m talking about. The RULES. The shit that the normal people live by, and ultimately will die by.
The thing is …
Probably just like you …
I would have SWORN at the time that I wasn’t one to follow the crowd! I knew since before time again that I wasn’t born for normal, I was NEVER going to live the normal life, I was born to do something amazing baby!
So it’s not that I really EVER got sucked in to ‘normal person conditioning’. I remember being 25, married, looking ahead to the future and seeing myself with a nice house in the suburbs, a couple of kids, a husband making good money, being a soccor Mum and all I could think was ESCAPE. I remember viscerally how anxious and scared and just plain NO I felt looking at that future.
It’s one reason I completely burned down my entire marriage and life that year, walked away from all of it and exited with nothing but the cat to my name. But that’s more of a story in and of itself, and it will have to wait for another day.
So no –
I didn’t ever really believe I was gonna do the regular shit –
It took me a while to realise this was self-protective, not self-sabotage.
But where the real problem was, was when I got myself accidentally swept up in The Rules within THIS world.
See, I built a multiple 6-figure online fitness business back before internet marketing was NOTHING like a mainstream thing. I started a little blog in 2007, woke up every day and transparently shared my life, started creating and selling content, followed through on my early promise to myself to just keep showing up, had zero coaching or input of ‘how you’re supposed to do it online’, because the coaching industry as far as online biz didn’t EXIST back then!
I figured it all out myself, followed my gut and what FELT good, my focus was on what my girls (my followers) really wanted and needed from me, and I genuinely saw them as being my crew … we were all in it together, at no point was it about me thinking how can I get MONEY from you.
And then one day I woke up and realised I was making over 35k a MONTH, selling products which were all $99 and under! Don’t let anybody tell you that low-end is not a good idea, just on that. Low end builds a fucking EMPIRE! To this day a couple hundred k a MONTH of my income comes from low-end, and it serves my TRIBE, more importantly.
I didn’t follow The Rules to get to that initial success point of my business. I didn’t follow them not because I’m such a badass or a rebel, but because nobody fucking TOLD me about them! I didn’t know they existed because they didn’t … I also didn’t recognise at the time that I was creating my own set of rules and beliefs, forging my own pathway and basically just figuring out as I went what worked for ME, based on inner guidance and flow!
If I’m honest, it’s always been about flow for me …
If I’m honest, ALL my decisions that have been smart ones have come simply from asking myself whatv would flow look like …!
The thing is though – I’m not different to anybody else, in that when I feel unsure of how to go to the next level, I look for the HOW and I look for somebody to tell me the right way. Even now I find myself defaulting to that when I’m looking ahead at something I have no fucking clue how to do, but fortunately these days I’m self-aware enough to kick my own ass about it and get back to ME!
But back in 2012 or so, when I decided it was time to Get Serious about this whole online thang, when I realised that I’d actually created something that was somewhat big or had the potential to be, I basically freaked out at how I’d managed to get away with getting to where I was without doing anything ‘properly’.
If only I understood then what I understand now … I’d probably be at 8-figures plus already! It’s all fine though, the way I KINDA fucked shit up back then is ultimately what DID get me so into truth and alignment and into refusing to NOT be fully me in my business and LIFE.
It’s ultimately what got me to YOU, and it’s why I’m so passionate about my message now.
I want you to know and live by what took me so long to understand, what cost me probably millions, and years, and nearly my God damn purpose!
Of course if you were always gonna make it, you were always gonna make it, but still.
May as well get the fuck out of your own way and get there faster!!
And where I COST myself, after that early period of what I thought was ACCIDENTAL success, and where so MANY people are costing themselves and robbing themselves of their FUTURE right now, is I decided that the road to the next LEVEL had to be paved with shit that I didn’t know how to do, was not naturally good at (or else I’d have been doing it already, right?) and which Other (Important) People DEFINITELY knew more about then me and that I should LISTEN to them.
So I took my little 30-35k a month ‘accidental’ business and I went and invested in working with the world’s best online sales and marketing coaches, a series of high players who I was proud to call my mentors and still AM proud to have worked with. But the truth is that as much as I learnt some seriously cool shit throughout that time, and as much as I would never ever take back any decision I’ve made because it ALWAYS all works out exactly as it should, the truth?
That period pretty much fucked me up.
On the one hand I increased my income to over 80k a month, whilst living in hospital with a terrifying pregnancy condition, incidentally, but on the other hand I sold my fucking soul to do it.
And just as I’d looked to the future in that first marriage and felt my soul scream NO, I started looking to the future in my business and where I’d previously always felt inspired and excited by what was ahead, I started to whisper, cry and eventually scream NO.
I wasn’t holding on to the money anyway … I had nothing to show for it … I was actually over 100k in debt due to the full on mentoring investments on repeat but also because I believe you CAN’T create wealth when you’re in a place of the wrong service and so energetically I just couldn’t keep it.
And when I looked ahead and saw clearly that what I was doing, based on what I was being taught, WOULD make me my million dollar business if I just kept going, all I could think was NO.
I remember saying to my husband at the time – “if this is the pathway to a million dollars, I’d rather go back to personal training”.
I meant it too.
A few months later, my son was born, healthy and overdue, and I didn’t die either OR have organs removed – I’d spent a good portion of the entire second half of the pregnancy being told that there was a high risk of that due to the rare condition I had.
Suffice to say, what with that going on, another child already at home, and me building this business that made my soul CRY, after Nathan came along and I was still kicking and breathing to talk about it, there was a huge need to release.
It took me a few more months after that to really let go, but I feel like with his birth I also began the process of RE-BIRTHING myself through my business and message.
I’d been holding on so tightly to the need to do things RIGHT …
To do as they told me …
To push down what I felt INSIDE me, what I REALLY wanted to say, what I wanted my life to BE about, and I’d been trying to prove to the world that I was worthy of attention and money.
Basically? I’d stopped doing nearly everything that helped me create my online success in the first fucking place, when I’d been acting from the gut, and I’d started to build a BUSINESS based on the RULES.
Yes, they were the rules of people I admired and looked up to, and an industry I definitely wasn’t leaving anytime still, but basically?
The real thing that those rules taught me was that it wasn’t okay to be me.
That what I felt inside of me wasn’t relevant.
That there was a right way and a wrong way to do things, and that when I was acting from the gut it was the WRONG way.
The thing is …
I was never going to be able to stick with that shit! I think that if you’re BORN for it ultimately you WILL find your own way. For me I look back at that time and I feel like I learned so much cool shit about online branding, selling, marketing, but HONESTLY? What I really learned was to IGNORE FUCKING ALL OF IT AND JUST DO ME.
And a BIG part of realising that I had to give in to me was not just that my soul was DEMANDING it and eventually that voice inside got loud enough to drown out all the other voices, but also because I started to suspect that my desire to create, to grind, to push, to just.keep.going. was somewhat unique to me.
Of course now I realise it’s NOT just me who is like that … I’ve created this entire community of driven ass motherfuckers who also want it all, on their terms, and will stop at nothing to get it. That’s you baby!
And I sit here now and think back to all that I learned, the mistakes I made by walking away from what I knew within to be true, the way I’ve grown so much since then, and I was thinking about the fact that I’m SO much happier, in flow, high vibe, switched on when I HUSTLE AND PUSH ALL DAY AND NEVER STOP, when I barely sleep, when I just fucking CREATE, when I say FUCK the rules of what to do in business, in life, of how apparently we’re all supposed to ‘rest’ instead of doing what excites and brings us to life, of SO much bullshit out there which is still perpetuated in some kind of mis-guided experiment to tell those of us who already have EVERYTHING we need inside of us how to live our own fucking LIVES, and I just think:
Nobody else has to get it.
I am so damn solid in my own knowledge of who I am and what I need to be happy and fulfilled.
Of what my PURPOSE is, and how it looks when I’m living it.
But at the same time?
I’m really fucking grateful that you’re here and that you get it. That you too will live and die for this stuff. That you know what it’s like to want to PUSH ALL DAY AND THEN PUSH SOME MORE.
That you were born for the FIRE, baby!
And if you are that person and you DO get it, I need to tell you:
There is a way where you can have it all, but it’s not by learning the fucking RULES.
It’s by realising that for us, the ART must always come first. The inner TRUTH must always come first. The world, even the INTERNET world, can tell us to slow down, do it properly, take a break, do it like them, but we fucking KNOW who we are and we will.not.back DOWN.
At the same time, we need to be clear on the fact that we still DEMAND and WILL have the outcomes that THEY say we can only create by doing it a certain way.
Can I tell you?
You don’t have to do it a certain way.
There IS a better way.
There is YOUR way.
And if YOU are like ME in that you were NEVER gonna fit in, that the voice INSIDE is the one you KNOW you will ultimately listen to and create from, that you know you were born for EPIC, and that you insist on having it ALL, then you need to be part of what I’ve created.
This is for the artists …
For the creators …
For the crazy ones who want it all and WILL fucking have it …
The doors are open –
Your place is waiting –
We start SOON –
Well this is where you learn that the pathway you’ve been looking for the whole time is the one that’s inside of you.
So come on over.
Come and read about what it’s like to UNLEASH what’s inside of you so that it also makes you MILLIONS.
Come on over and JOIN me, gorgeous, in the one place online where you’ll be told that hell YEAH you can have it all but that it can be FULLY on your terms and in fact it MUST be.
Money Makin’ Artist Unleashed baby: I MADE THIS FOR YOU.
Multiple 7-Figure Online Marketing for the BADASS Creative Motherfucker Who Just Won’t Conform, and Wants to Rule the World, Now!
Why do we push so hard, and never stop?
Well, it’s obvious isn’t it …
It’s because we can’t not.
In the end –
You were always going to give in –
To being you.
Start today gorgeous.
After all –
Life is Now. Press Fucking Play.