How NOT to Let Dodgy Beliefs Hold You Back!
It’s like there’s this thing that comes over us, at some point while growing up I guess, where all of a sudden instead of running around with our big fantasy dreams and our total certainty that when we grow up we’ll do it ALL, have it ALL, rule the world and have nothing less than the best time ever doing it, we, well, we –
And without realising it, so sneaky and insidious is the process, our fantasy dreams of a life of glamour and joy, where being an adult means you get to do all the COOL stuff, turn into long lost wishes we can barely even remember.
But then (if you’re reading this) we happen across the idea of Being an Entrepreneur. Of Working for Ourselves. Of saying Fuck You! to the 9-5 and the Normal Life, and we are SO. EXCITED. because something within us is screaming I KNEW IT – I knew all of those dreams could actually become true; I knew there was another pathway, and this is it, this is what I’LL do, this is who I’m going to BECOME, I’m going to work for myself and pave my own way and I’m going to do it ALL, have it ALL, rule the world and have nothing less than the best time every doing it so UP YOURS WORLD ’cause I don’t WANNA play with you anymore!
And it’s just the best, it really is the best, the IMAGINING of how awesome life is going to be, and then, without really realising it, well then what happens is I guess, we –
And we become like that cliche Facebook meme, where the definition of an entrepreneur is someone who works 80 hours a week for little to no money so they can avoid the 9-5.
And it’s all very COURAGEOUS, that we continue on our quest to forge our own way and certainly we’d never change it (hell no!) and it is AWESOME when we have those breakthrough moments, or when the money DOES finally come in and perhaps even fame and true fortune and some vestiges of freedom follow, but at some point you really have to stop and wonder –
When did I actually stop chasing the TRUE fantasy dream?
And why is it that if this whole thing is supposed to be about living life on my terms, about having it all and nothing less, that I’ve somehow created all these …
And SHOULDS …
And why on EARTH am I doing so much stuff I don’t really LIKE? For people who don’t really do it for me …? And in a way that TOTALLY doesn’t suit my true callings and inclinations?!
How did this happen and WHO HAS MY DREAM LIFE?!
Can I tell you what’s going on here, if you relate to this?
It’s actually very simple, and don’t worry – you’re not the only one to do this; not by a long shot!
What’s happened is, you took the whole concept of doing it your way and PAVING your own way and you went and created yourself a “job” business.
One where there are things you (think you) have to do for money.
And that’s just how it is.
So you do it.
Or you won’t get paid.
And you log on and log off like a good girl or boy and you show up and do your work because hey! That’s what this business is ABOUT.
And somewhere deep within there’s this whisper (or perhaps more of a silent scream) where you’re TUGGING at yourself and wondering –
Why the fuck can’t I just do what I actually WANT? In the WAY I want? And make MONEY by having loads of fun?!
Of course the REAL problem here is not whether or not you accidentally created the wrong business. Pretty much everyone does that! But I don’t think this is a planning issue and I don’t even think it’s a clarity or ‘not knowing what you really want’ issue.
You wanna know what I think?
I think that even though we’ve managed to break away from the ‘norm’ and even though we’re living life as lone rangers paving our own way (and BIG props to us for doing so, ’cause dream biz or not either way it is fucking hard work!) there’s still that deep and VERY well-conditioned part of us that says:
You can’t just make money by having FUN!
You can’t just do whatever you PLEASE!
Money doesn’t grow on trees! You have to sacrifice! You have to suffer! You have to PUT THE WORK IN and do the hours and that’s just how it IS!
Tell me if I’m wrong, but I’ll bet that when you were a kid and a teenager and a young adult what you LEARNED about money (primarily from what you absorbed from those around you) was any or all of the following –
Money is hard to come by
There’s never quite enough
Things that you WANT to do or that you would do just for fun often have to be sacrificed either due to lack of money or because the time has to go towards making the money rather than doing those things
There is a separation between work and fun, work and life, work and pleasure
Your ‘passion pursuits’ or hobbys come outside of work hours
Work is not something to do because you WANT to do it, okay you’re lucky if you do something you don’t mind, but of course the only real reason to work is for the money!
If you work hard enough and struggle for long enough then one day you can do fun and cool things and enjoy your life
I’m sure you could add your own stuff to this list, and I could go on and on myself if I wanted to! And this is really important, you know? Because even if you believe in the idea of being able ‘in theory’ to make money doing something you love and to have it totally just be a BALL, if you have all these deepset beliefs about how money is made and what work MEANS, you’re kinda fighting an uphill battle against yourself there.
On a practical level what it often means for entrepreneurs and natural born leaders is that without realising it we just CREATE a situation that, even though it may not fit into the definition of having a JOB, when all is said and done brings with it all of that same stuff we saw our parents or role models put up with in the name of work.
It gets worse, as well!
I’ve seen this happen a LOT, and I know I’ve done it also; call it the next level of deepset money BS belief destruction or something –
Despite all the above rubbish, and perhaps because you’re smart enough to actively spend time online with mentors and fellow leaders who HAVE managed to create a business they truly love and so you’re desperately trying to create your own fun and joy and ‘too good to be true’ pathway of fame’n’fortune, you manage to create some stuff you love, maybe even manage to start making money from it!
And for a while there you feel like you’re actually in the ZONE baby, you’re having a ball and you’re just showing up and being you and wow! HOW GOOD IS THIS and it might actually WORK?!
Only thing is –
You’re a little worried you might be a COMPLETE LAZY BITCH WHO IS TRYING TO CHEAT THE SYSTEM.
Of course you probably don’t QUITE express it that way, but here is the other set of beliefs we often carry around with us to do with work and money –
If you’re having too much fun you’re probably slacking off
If it feels like play you’re clearly not doing what you’re supposed to be doing
Too much play and mucking around and you’ll probably get fired, you can’t expect to hold down a job (business!) like that!
It’s starting to feel EASY, I must not be doing it right!
And so we quickly backtrack and take on a whole bunch of random shit we don’t want to do but PHEW we must be back on track because it’s not that fun anymore –
It feels like an uphill struggle again –
But that’s okay because once we get past this next hurdle we’ll have time again for the FUN stuff!
I’m laughing as I write this because it is SO FUCKING TRUE, and even at this level of my business and success I STILL at times find myself falling into patterns of “oh shit it’s too much fun and it feels so EASY and I feel like I’m cheating; I shouldn’t get to make money for doing this stuff ’cause I LOVE it so much so better find something I hate doing and fill my schedule with that and not allow myself time for the stuff that makes my heart sing because obviously that’s PLAY and not work!”
Or, you know, something along those lines. Not that I’ve ever thought about it or anything.
So here’s the thing, right, and the point of today’s post:
If you want to create your DREAM business where you actually DO get to make (tons of!) money, doing what you love and it truly is EASY and FUN, then it’s really NOT about you needing to –
Or even really worry about what it is you’re ‘meant’ to do or would most love to do –
The most powerful thing you can do to ALLOW yourself to have fame, fortune and freedom come EASILY and JOYFULLY and just by showing up every day and having a great old time being you is to DECIDE that it is POSSIBLE to do that.
More specifically what you need to do:
1. Decide it is POSSIBLE to make loads of money and a helluva difference in a way that is ridiculously fun, easy, awesome and allows you just to show up and be you.
2. Decide you are going to ALLOW yourself to then do so
3. COMMIT to HAVING IT BE SO, and CLAIM it as already yours, even though you may have no idea HOW it can come to pass!
Decide – Allow – Claim!
This is the pathway to ANY goal. It can honestly just be as simple as a perception shift, where once you realise the silly beliefs that have been holding you back, you shake them off and be done with them INSTANTLY.
Think of it like so much dried mud or dirt or branches that you noticed stuck to your back after doing an outdoor trek – once you see you’re carrying all this crap around you just brush it off and continue on your way. You don’t have to “work through” changing your beliefs, you can just choose to be DONE with them, and decide what new beliefs you’d like to have instead!
Imagine this –
What if you ALREADY BELIEVED that making money was SUPPOSED to be fun and easy, and that’s just how it IS?
What if you believed that the CORRECT or APPROPRIATE way to do things was to be totally true to you and ONLY follow your heart?
What if you believed it was not only okay but EXPECTED that you just show up each day and do whatever the hell you please, following your intuition and the joy, and why the heck would business be any other way?
What if you believed you could provide the MOST value in the BEST way, have the best TIME doing it and also create your greatest WEALTH when you only did stuff that was awesome as to do, with people who you adored, and completely how you felt llike doing it?
What if you thought NOTHING of the idea of changing your mind, of going with the flow, of being spontaneous, of jumping randomly into new things because you were inspired to do so or quitting other things because you didn’t feel like it anymore? What if this was how EVERYONE did business and so of COURSE you did too?
What if you weren’t ALLOWED to make money if you didn’t follow your calling, if you didn’t do the stuff you love and were naturally drawn to?
What if the only way –
You could create true fame –
REAL fortune –
And actual FREEDOM –
Was by following your heart –
Listening to your soul –
And doing what you’ve always most been called to do –
However that may evolve and change –
And showing up every day –
And deciding what would be awesome to do that day –
And doing it?
And what if you believed that anything you decided, allowed, and CLAIMED as yours would – of course! – become true?
There are many paths to fame and fortune my love.
You can absolutely go and follow in the footsteps of others, of their beliefs or their strategy or their process.
You may well make money that way, and even a difference and perhaps to an extent you can buy yourself some freedom.
But here’s the reality, and this is true regardless of whether you follow someone else’s path or seek to carve your own:
Your outcomes will ALWAYS be a product of your beliefs.
So if you’re trying to carve your own path via your ACTIONS but yet the outcomes you’re receving aren’t really (or at all!) what you want, then I’d put good money on the fact that you’re following in the BELIEFS impressed upon you by others.
And your actions don’t really mean jack shit if they don’t match up with your beliefs.
I’ll say it again:
So if you want a difefrent outcome, for once stop worrying about what you need to DO or LEARN or KNOW or who you need to follow and instead take a moment – right now – and then if you actually give a damn I’d be doing this daily – and think about what beliefs you’d need to have in order to create the outcomes you so very much desire.
The best thing?
You get to choose what to believe.
The reality check though, that comes with that?
You already chose. So if you need to choose again?
Life is Now. Press Play.