Success Mindset

IT’S OKAY TO BE A COMPLETE FLAKE, LET PEOPLE DOWN, WALK AWAY, EVEN WHEN YOU PROMISED ‘YES’

So I totally just bailed on an interview with only 8 minutes notice, and, with it, pulled out of being a keynote speaker at an entire event which is coming up in a couple of weeks.

The interview was to meet and greet and I guess ‘prep’ for the actual event, as well as to record a short spiel for promo purposes. Not only did I totally flake out but I actually owned WHY, as well, when I messaged the organizer about it. I’ll share what I said in a sec.

Wanna know the truth? As I sat downstairs watching my 7 year-old gleefully practice her newfound bike-riding skills, and the time ticked closer to when I needed to jump on the zoom, all I could think was that I REALLY don’t actually want to do it. I don’t want to go upstairs right now and do this zoom. I want to keep watching my daughter ride, then grab lunch, and then I want to be locked away inside my own head, writing and perhaps a livestream after lunch.

That’s what I want to do, okay! But my logical brain said – irresponsible. Flaky. Unprofessional! (Ha, like I EVER promised to be THAT!) And also – but it’s a ‘good opportunity’ to speak at the event. I love the overall concept of the event … I’m aligned to it … it’s local-ish, and I always like meeting more cool local entrepreneurs, in fact one of my now closest friends Linda I met for the first time WHILE speaking at a local entrepreneur event! So – WHAT IF I COST MYSELF SOMETHING GOOD BY NOT ATTENDING?

I really SHOULD … you never know … you gotta do these things, right?

I sat there, and I watched Alyssa go round and round, and I felt like I was once again having one of those turning point moments. They never stop coming, you know? A moment when you can decide if you believe in what you preach, or if you’re going to make choices from fear.

I SHOULD, what IF, just in CASE – these are all fear based choices.

And I thought about James Altucher, my all-time favourite writer, who openly admits he sometimes just no-shows at speaking engagements even on the DAY, or else pulls out at the very last minute.

He’s a writer first and foremost, same as me.
An introvert, also.
And ultimately, one of us – perhaps you’re like this too? – in that, when push comes to shove, you just find you CAN’T.

And I knew:

Of course I can do the zoom. It’ll be fine, and no doubt a nice connection. And then, I just freaking KNOW, that when it comes time for the day of the event I WON’T WANT TO GO. I’ll want to do MY normal morning routine! Journal + kids + gym + write + be in my own head. You know?

And SURE … I would then go to the event and it’d be nice, even GREAT, and I’d make some connections and maybe get business from it in some way, well DEFINITELY I would, ’cause people do always come follow me when they hear me!

And?

So what.
One life.
Hell yes or nothing.
All these moments add up.
Just yesterday I dug deep again into being TRUE to myself, and that is NOT just a conceptual thing, you know? It’s an actual fucking thing where moment by moment, decision by decision, you’re either backing yourself – or you’re not.

Here’s the truth about me –

I don’t really like doing interviews. I do them mainly because I think I should, and I DO always enjoy them once in it. But baby that ain’t hell yes. There are certain interviews, same with events, where I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanna be in it. It is oh my GOD hell yes. Like speaking at Ryan Stewman’s event in Dallas end of October. Hell to the yes PLEASE, and thank you!

These, clearly, are the ones to do, and that’s IT, else otherwise I’d simply be DEMONSTRATING that I don’t believe I can actually live a full hell yes life and also get the results I want.

I know some people might read this and think I’m making a mountain out of a molehill; why do I need to write a whole blog on it?!

Well – because life isn’t about the huge big fucking yes or no’s. Your LIFE is a product of the small yes or no’s. The times you turn IN – or AWAY from – what you really long for. The little decisions to give your time, your energy, your focus, to act from FOMO or fear, to in some way state to yourself, to God, to the Universe, to everybody else, that even though you say you believe in your message, your art, and in doing it YOUR way, you’re easily available for sale, or ego, or validation, or else simply that when push comes to shove you don’t show ACTUAL faith.

When I look to the future, a future in which I’m known on a widespread mainstream level, read and watched and followed by millions, and then look back to now and ask myself who it was I had to be to GET there, the answer is simple:

Be the me who is ruthlessly committed to putting her own message and art first and who simply doesn’t DO shit just because it’s a ‘good idea’ or might in some way help.

I believe it’s not just the actual message and art that gets to be 100% aligned, but also EVERY aspect of how you market, sell, brand and deliver it as well as you.

And I’m super proud of myself for being strong enough IN me, and in my faith in me, to own that today, and also to be honest about it with the organizer, rather than making something up. It’s never just one thing gorgeous … you’ll give your entire LIFE for just one thing, stacked on another.

Or you can give it for being only, and always, true to you.

Here’s what I said:

“Hey ___. I’m actually going to cancel, I’ve just been tuning in to it, and I don’t want to come and speak at the event. I’m sure it’s amazing, it looks amazing, the reason is it’s just not a complete hell yes for me, and one of my commitments in life is to really only do the things that are super hell yes, as far as how I choose to spend my time, whether it’s for my own content creation, or with my kids, or whatever it is.

And I sat down yesterday and did a massive journaling session about being really honest with myself about what actually lights my fire most, and only giving my time and energy to the things that do fit into that category.

I know it’s very short notice for this call today, but I thought it’s best to just pass that on straight away now that I guess I’m going to an even higher level of authenticity with myself. So thank you so much for understanding, and all the best with your events.”

It would have been easy to just beg off due to kids or whatever else, but something I’ve also been practicing for some time now is just OWNING your truth. Being okay with saying your actual reasons. Not just because, well, integrity, but also if you can’t speak your truth to others then there’s a part of you which thinks it’s not okay to THINK that, or do that, etc.

Which doesn’t bode especially well as far as permission to be who you really are, does it?!

Anyway.

NOW, I essentially am using the time allocated for that zoom to write this, so it’s not like I end up ‘ahead’ on time or something, do I? But that’s not the point … the point is that all those moments add up.

And at the end of the day you’re either going to look back on a day in which you said yes to YOU, to what you value and desire MOST, and to making space for the purpose work you’re most about, or you’re gonna look back on a day of responding to others and making choices based on what feels ‘safe’, ‘right’, ‘expected’ or ‘best’.

Wanna know the scary thing?

When I talk about looking back from the end of the day what I’m actually talking about is looking back from the end of your life.

Make no mistake:

EVERY choice matters.

And it speaks to who you’ll become next.

I believe you can do EVERYTHING your soul longs for you to do, and be that person. But just because you have a destiny, and you know what you feel inside of you is real, that doesn’t mean it’s ever going to happen.

Be RUTHLESSLY committed to your truth –

Or accept you’re never going to actually be THAT person who you know is waiting in the wings to be let out.

Remember:

Life is Now. Press Play.

Kat

PS

BORN TO BE A QUEEN is coming … I’ll be opening the doors TOMORROW. And I couldn’t be more proud, more honoured, a little nervous, and VERY excited …

5 Weeks of Soul & Cellular Shifting, to Help You Release the Story of Struggle and ‘Should’, Quit Marketing Like One of the MASSES When You’re Supposed to be the Top, and Fully Own the Leader & Queen Power You KNOW You Have.

I’m creating Born to Be a Queen for my fellow Queens, who are brave enough to admit that their true power and gift to the world is simply to BE, and also to be FULLY true to every element of how they show up.

We’re going to look at owning your Queen energy, mindset, daily AND big picture rhythms, in business, with money, as well as how that’s playing out in the way you show up outside of business.

If you’re looking for the next program to join where you get a dot-point or step-by-step plan on how to market online, get ‘leads’, and do a LAUNCH the proper stepford-preneur way –

This is not it.

If you’re looking to be followed, looked to, heard and seen and PAID because you’re a fucking Queen and you KNOW it –

And you’re ready and willing to drop ALL the shoulds and simply BE, fully in your power; put aside guilt and shame about being just as powerful as you actually ARE, and actually shine, realising that IT’S ACTUALLY JUST THE ESSENCE OF YOU PEOPLE WANT TO PAY FOR –

You’re going to want to be part of this.

Tomorrow. x

PPS As my shirt says … follow your soul.

It knows the way.

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