Will You Make Space For Your Dream Life?
This post is Part 2 of my series on creating your dream life. Read Part 1, ‘Losing Weight, Quitting Your Job And Living Your Dreams: Could You Really Have It All’. 168 people like it, and I think you will too 🙂
My friend Helena has an online business. It’s something she is very good at, knows how to do. She can help people with this business. Make their lives easier, happier. Allow them to move a little closer to their dreams as a result. The stuff Helena can do is stuff that has me reaching for a paper bag and a huge block of chocolate if I try to do it in my own business.
Another friend, Bridget, also has an online business. She is one of the lucky few whose qualifications match her passions, and her business both on and offline is a success as a result. I know as a fact that she has personally helped hundreds of women to feel more confident and happy about themselves and their bodies. Every day she changes lives.
How lucky these women are to have something they know how to do, and can do well.
Helena mentioned just recently that she had a dream idea for a completely different business that she felt called to run. Something that had personally impacted her life and the daily choices she makes, and something she felt called to write about. This dream idea is something that would almost certainly touch people’s lives and make a lasting difference. To Helena as well as to her clients or readers.
And she acknowledged –
“The way I’m running my business right now? It’s not working for me. But I don’t have the right skills, qualifications to write about that other thing. I wouldn’t know where to start. So what do I do? Do I just quit and let it fall by the wayside? I have such hang-ups about not finishing stuff”
Would you walk away from something you’d worked hard to build up if you thought it wasn’t quite right for you? Even if it would mean you would have to basically jump off a cliff without knowing what’s below?
Bridget’s situation is a little different, but still one that’s making her answer some tough questions about who she is and what she wants out of her business and her life. She loves what she does but she feels like she’s not really doing enough of the bits she actually loves the most and is brilliant at. She says –
“It’s just the AWARENESS of HOW I want to help and WHAT I DO with those I work with…. I already do all the things I want to do, I just need it on a more regular, consistent basis AND I need to learn how to make it a daily part of what I do and help how I help people … I need to simply BELIEVE in me!! SO many people tell me how great I am and how they look up to me….I am always surprised!!! ME?!?!!?!? Im a weird paradox!!”
The thing with this is that Bridget does already have ‘the dream’ as far as her business goes, but it’s just not quite playing out in the best possible way. It’s like she’s getting snatches of her dream and then going back to the safe and ‘should do’ things to keep her business going.
Have you ever done the same in your own business or career, or perhaps in your life? I know I have, time and time again, and I have to tell you –
The worst thing is not not living your dreams or even knowing what they are. The absolute worst thing is being so close to your true dreams that you can taste and feel them, but that you’re also satisfied enough to have no deep need to step off that cliff and see if there really is something mind-blowingly amazing waiting for you.
A hint – there is.
stop living a good or even a great life – and start living your dream life
Good is not enough. Even great is not enough. Until you can say you’ve really given it your all to create your idea of freaking amazing, then no, you’re not living your dream or dreams, are you?
Even if, and perhaps you don’t have this stuff; perhaps you’re still working for it, but just go with me –
- You are in good or great health and fitness
- You have a settled and happy relationship
- You have a great job or business
- You have a nice house
- You have all the other accoutrements of a successful modern-day life
But is it what the very deepest part of you truly yearns for? Or is it just what you thought you would need to be happy?
If you’re not ‘there’ yet in the above areas, you’re the fortunate one. You can change your mind about what you really want before you finish climbing the wrong ladder. And if you are there, then know this –
It’s okay to be grateful for and happy with what you have, but to still admit that you want more.
That you want a life that is much less ordinary; one that is nothing short of spectacular. One that fulfills your wildest fantasies.
And that you want it now, dammit.
You want to live a dream life? Make your fantasies come true? Then tell me this.
How are your dreams going to have a fighting chance of finding space to grow when your life is so full of the things that drain you and make you less you? Before you can reach for your dreams you have to let go, and make some space. You can’t grow a beautiful and life-giving plant when it is surrounded by weeds. Your dreams are waiting for you, but they will never come searching for you. It has to be the other way. So today, make a little space. Start with the littlest weed.
how to reach a big crazy dream – step one
So here’s what you have to do. Step one of creating the life you fantasise about, of reaching even just one of your big crazy dreams, is to quit.
Quit the stuff that isn’t the you who you want to be. Quit, quit, quit. Just jump off the cliff and have faith that you will fly.
This is so important; I can’t stress it enough. You will never get to your dreams if you’re not willing to let go of the stuff that is keeping you so safe and secure. The stuff that everyone ‘knows’ you should be fighting towards. Be honest now – how’s the fight to live the perfect little life going? Are you loving it?
One thing I do to reach live more of my dream life, is I try to quit at least one thing every day. It’s not a sometimes thing, it’s a daily thing you need to do as part of the ‘how to’ of making your wishes and hopes come true. Your sneaky little monkey mind will try each day to trick you into getting distracted back to the safe things and the should-dos.
Never ever ever try to strive toward any goal or dream without first making space for it.
Me, for the best part of my twenties, I stole my own dream. At the time I didn’t know it at all; so consumed was I by Getting Ahead and Being Happy By Having And Doing More.
So yeah, my idea of a dream life, the life I was born to live? I stole it right away. Hid it, in fact. So deep that I pretty much forgot it had even existed.
What I wanted, was to inspire people. To motivate and empower them to live an outrageous life. To have them listen to me and then to rise up and say YES, it can be me. It can be now.
I wanted to move people to tears, to passion, and most of all to massive action. To watch their self-confidence and determination go from being wilted or non-existent to being so ridiculously and unstoppably on fire that nothing and nobody could get in their path. Not even themselves.
I wanted to write, speak, perform, cry and laugh with people. To be completely authentic about reaching for my dreams, and show others how to do the same.
Instead, I went to Uni. I didn’t like it; it wasn’t what I expected, and so I changed courses. 3 times. That didn’t help, so I went to Europe and Africa for 3 months, traveling mostly alone.
That was awesome, although I came back with extra booty baggage which worked out okay as it resulted in my becoming a gym-junkie turned personal trainer.
At last I knew what I was going to do with myself. Something fun, matching my interests, allowing me to help people and also make a good income. A true dream, right?
I like to get ahead at most things if I can, so after a few years I entered personal training management. Climbed the ladder like a good girl. I had it all! I was making it. A few more years and I had the marriage, the savings account, the even higher up the ladder job.
I lost my dream to get it, but it didn’t matter at all because I didn’t even notice.
Eventually I tired of working in management, and went back to personal training. I was proud of myself for walking away. I found it terrifying to do so – I was literally shaking when I quit. And as I got back into working for myself and inspiring people to get in shape I thought I’d finally figured it out.
But somehow, it still wasn’t enough. Although I didn’t even really know it, I wanted to write, speak, perform, cry and laugh with people. I wanted to change lives. And I wasn’t. Not deeply.
Eventually, I ended up here. Via a client newsletter, via my first ‘blog’ katrinaeden.com, via my first ‘official’ blog Body Incredible and via a lot of failed blogs and joint ventures that you’ve never even seen as I lost interest in them before they made it out of infancy. Here, where I am now, I am impacting lives. But I’m still not quit being the me I want to be. I haven’t truly let myself soar.
you have to let go in order to be free
Take a look at your life.
Not through anyone else’s eyes, just through your own kind and compassionate eyes. If you’re not used to being kind and compassionate to yourself, well – humour me and just pretend you are 🙂
So, being kind and compassionate and loving yourself right now, tell me this –
Are you living a life of brilliance? Do you find yourself so caught up in what you do each day that time passes in an instant, that you could happily do it all day long even if you had no reward for it, that you just love it so much and are challenged and grow from it as well?
Yes? No? Sometimes?
The last is the probable answer. I hope you don’t say that never is the answer, but that’s okay too for now.
Because regardless of where you are right now as you read this, regardless of how deeply you feel that it’s too late for you, that you missed your chance, there is an unshakeable truth about life –
It is yours for the taking. Yes, you. Life is yours to choose what to do with. Every. Damn. Moment. So whilst it might be safer, easier, less challenging to claim that you don’t have what it takes it’s also a big huge crock of you know what.
The reality is that no matter where you find yourself now, no matter how far you’ve sunk or swum from your dreams, you can get to brilliance.
But you have to choose to step away from the things that have kept you safe. Secure. Comfortable. And so busy and full that you possibly haven’t even realised there could be more.
Will you choose? Or do you prefer to stay?
i’m stepping towards the light
This is where I’m at right now. I’m stepping away from what’s safe for me, what’s easy enough, what’s already on track. Once again, I find myself ready to walk away from something I thought I wanted. Something I’ve worked incredibly hard to build up, am proud of and have had a lot of fun with. Maybe you can guess what it is?
Something that ultimately, is just one part of my journey though; one dream fulfilled. It’s not the essence of me. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to miss out on continuing to find out what is.
So I challenge you to do the same. To shed another layer of the you you’ve been presenting yourself as, and get even one step closer to being the truly gorgeous and vibrant you.
how to achieve a big dream, something crazy even – step one, continued
I wanted to write an entire post on exactly how to achieve a big dream, something crazy even. But I’ve realised –
If I wrote all of that, every last step, as just one post, you would read it and (I hope) be inspired and even moved by it but would you do it?
I think, not all of it. It’s too much. And it goes against the grain of true and lasting dream living to even try to do everything all at once. So, if you’d like to join me, I’m going to take you through a process over the next few posts.
A layering of dream creation 🙂
Each post will reveal another step in the process. In the order that I’ve found to work very well. Follow the process and you can actually make a dream of yours start to become a reality in the next 2 weeks. Better than being inspired just for a moment or a day after reading the whole system all at once but being a little too overwhelmed to do it all at once, right?
So, step one, which I know I’m kind of revealing to you in a very round-a-bout manner right now. But I hope the stories help?
step one, continued (again) – make space for your dreams
It’s time to claim your future. To stand up and be counted for what you really want out of life. To be ridiculously, unashamedly, no-holds-barred honest about what you want for once. And this time, NO – not only to yourself.
It’s time to stand up and be counted as a woman who plain and simple refuses to live a life less ordinary.
How to do that? First, just make the choice.
Say right now – aloud (no matter where you are) – “I choose a life of brilliance. I am ready for more”
What is more? Some ideas –
- Be proud that like my friend Jess, who you read about last week, you want to quit your job and spend a year or more traveling
- Be honest about wanting to create your dream job like Jo, Pam, Denise, Leonie.
- Admit it if you don’t like the way you look or feel
- And if you long to spend days cruising the coast in a black Maserati with your hair streaming behind you and diamonds on every finger, just say so.
- And even if you have the supposedly dream anything right now, be ready and willing to say that it’s actually not enough. That you want more. And that you believe you can have it and that you deserve. You know I believe that about you, right? Completely and utterly.
Right now, it’s not about voicing in detail or maybe even at all what you do want to create. That’s part two, the next blog I’ll write for you in this series 🙂
So for now, your job is easy –
- Admit. Admit that you’re not satisfied, that you want more. That you’re destined for more and absolutely unashamedly deserve it.
- And then quit. Make space for your dreams to grow. Stop doing the little (and if you dare the big) things that are making you less you. Delete, diminish or delegate them. Do it now, and keep doing it. One thing each day, remember? Promise me you’ll do this at least until we get to part two.
- And finally, for now – believe. Believe that you have everything you need, waiting for you. Believe that incredible abundance and joy can be yours. And be willing to hold that belief close to your heart no matter how many bright shiny objects keep coming your way. And now, you’re already moving forward, moving closer to your dream life. Who would have thought it could be so easy to start that transformation?
Helena and Bridget, they’re not quite at their true dreams yet. Neither am I. It’s a journey and it always will be.
But they’ve started the process. Bravely they’ve admitted to themselves and to others that no, actually, this is not okay. And yes, as a matter of fact, I am incredible enough to live an even more amazing one than this already pretty good one I have.
Are you willing to be just as brave?
Life is Now. Press Play.
If you liked this post press ‘like’ at the top. I am asking for over 100 likes if you want me to go ahead and write part 2! This is a new angle of authentic blogging for me and so I am basically asking as a test, for feedback. If you want more of this, if you like it. And if you do, please share it with someone who you think it might help. Thank you.