Screw Balance – Here’s What Will Really Make You Happy, Rich and Successful
Yesterday I learned the secret to true and immediate happiness. It was the most obvious thing I’ve ever heard but also the most obviously IGNORED thing. As a matter of fact, I’d be willing to bet that you yourself have heard it before. And I’d ALSO be willing to bet that you actively avoid doing it on a day to day basis. Hey – why allow yourself true happiness, wealth and success now if you can put it off for another day, right?!
We all have this idea that when we get to a certain point, everything that currently feels misaligned or tough going will be sorted out. Don’t tell me you don’t think this way
It’s the whole “when I’m 30 I’ll be rich, successful and happy” (a millionaire!) syndrome that you used to carry around in your early twenties.
At 22, the idea of seeing 30 seems not only horrifically ancient, but it also seems like the right sort of age to finally Have It All Together.
I used to imagine myself as a millionaire entrepreneur and author, living in a mansion with Vogue-esque living arrangements and my hair just so. It seemed so far off into the future that it was a CERT I’d be able to make it all happen that way!
Only problem was, I never really considered how to actually make it happen (or actively worked towards it) but instead just imagined that there would be some kind of natural evolution process to take me from just over broke personal trainer to wildly successful entrepreneur.
Long story short? There wasn’t. So 30 came and went, and I realised – if I wanted that dream life as a best-selling author and millionaire entrepreneur I was going to actually have to go out and create it. I know, right? The nerve of the universe making things work that way!
Anyway – once I realised it was on me, I DID go on out there and create it. Anything is possible if you make it a must and then keep your focus on it.
Side note: this is an interesting point to think about – if you don’t yet have what you want, then perhaps you simply haven’t made it a must?
Yesterday I was having lunch with a friend whose net worth is somewhere in the oh my God multi-millions. He is a restaurant and hotel mogul and somewhat of a household name. He lives in an INCREDIBLE villa here in Bali, and travels regularly to wherever he pleases. Unlike the typical super successful person he seems – relaxed.
Perhaps in contrast to the idea of being at peace, he is still striving for more; not by any means yet at his ultimate goal.
Funny thing is, even the last time we caught up (about 18 months ago) and certainly in the years previous to that, I would have classified him as a stressed out successful person. Frantically busy, constantly on the go, clearly in that state of ‘pushing’ that so many of us high achievers seem to consider the norm.
Clearly, something had changed on the INSIDE – the results of which were showing up on the outside.
I’ve had to face up to something lately in my own life.
For so many years now, I’ve been chasing balance; carrying around this idea that I’m just a hurdle or three away from finding it.
Telling myself that if I can just free up a LITTLE bit more time …
Be COMPLETELY consistent with my self-care …
Get just a TOUCH more sleep …
And finally finish off those projects that aren’t totally in my genius zone …
I’ll HAVE it.
Have you ever felt like you’re working towards something that is always JUST out of reach? It teases you, like a mirage peeping at you from just over the horizon – always just about the same distance away no matter how long you’ve been pushing towards it.
Have you ever stopped to wonder if perhaps there’s a REASON you haven’t yet found what you’re seeking?
It’s a safe bet that if there’s something you say you want buy still don’t have, you either don’t truly want it or your idea of what it is? Is false.
Yesterday, over fresh whole fish and crunchy chilli-encrusted chicken, it hit me like a smack in the face –
This thing I’ve been searching for?
It doesn’t even exist.
It was like being given the keys to the Universe and simultaneously realising the door was already open all along.
We were talking about successful entrepreneurs, discussing a few business models of various friends, and pondering the fact that no matter how far people get they’re still never quite there.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve often looked to my various mentors and those who I consider experts or wildly successful and assumed they’ve got it all together. It’s actually been a weird mix of let down and reassurance to realise that regardless of the wealth, success or apparent happiness of a person they are still NEVER there.
Everybody’s still looking for balance, and everybody is still just a hair’s breath away.
Which begs the question –
If you haven’t found it yet, then are you really EVER going to?
Maybe it doesn’t even exist!
Maybe it’s NOT about balance …
Or fitting it all in …
Or finally getting rid of the stuff that is stopping you from doing the stuff you REALLY want to do.
Maybe, it’s just about finding a way to be happy now. Today. Just as you are.
The difference between SEEKING something and HAVING something is that if you’re seeking you will never get there. You have CHOSEN to seek rather than to have.
So can you just choose to have balance?
YES, but it’s not going to be how it looks.
Rob explained it perfectly –
“It’s about finding a rhythm that you feel happy with”
Perhaps the simplest statement I’ve heard on happiness, but also one of the most powerful.
I guess another way of looking at it would be either you’re pressing PLAY, or you’re not
[pq] You can choose right now today to live in a way – to find your own rhythm – that feels good. [/pq]
Or you can continue telling yourself that you just have to finish those fiddly tasks, make more space for the things that matter, let go of the stuff that doesn’t and then you will GET there, then you will HAVE balance.
No. You won’t.
You already HAVE what you want. If you want something different then you have to choose NOW to have it. To do TODAY the things that matter to you. And to STOP today the things that you SAY don’t matter so much. At the end of the day, regardless of what you might try and insist upon, the things you spend your time on are clearly the things you’ve chosen to matter. Your ACTIONS speak louder than words.
The road to happiness – to wealth – to success – is not a road with an end point you have to get to.
And that’s the really big secret here.
There is no checklist to riches.
There is no join the dots to success.
It’s a way of BEING.
Just as health, or fitness begin in your mind and with how you see yourself NOW and therefore ultimately your physical reality reflects your internal reality, so it is with being happy and being enough.
Stop trying to GET balance.
Stop trying to REACH success.
And instead, just find a way of being today, that already gives you those things.
The future is today.
Well I think we both know the answer to that.
Life is Now. Press Play!