Why (How Can I Not)
Why bother? Why do this at all, really? This fight for a better life?
Getting up early every day when you don’t have to.
Staying up late at night, studying, reading, always looking for more inspiration, more ideas, more tapping in to the greater consciousness beyond that which is offered by your world.
Why make the effort to learn more, think more, be more, when it’s not required and nobody at all expects it of you. Well, nobody except yourself. Why?
Why push yourself to create. To stretch the boundaries, extend your skills, put yourself out there. Why?
Why jump headfirst into new programs, comittments, ideas when you have no idea how to make it work or if it will really be worth it.
Why do any of it?
Why, you ask?
Because how can I not, the other part of you answers.
How can I not attempt even the most awkward and clumsy efforts to escape the ordinary life.
How can I not push myself to create more, learn more, be part of something greater when I know it’s out there.
How can I possibly, for even a moment, pretend that I can conform. How can I?
How can I get up with the world, eat and work and talk and walk with the world, entertain myself with TV and magazines and the occasional crazy night out like the world and then go to bed like the world.
How can I?
How can I push down these beliefs, this knowledge, this certainty, this calling to create an extraordinary life. Somehow. Doing – something. I don’t even fully know what.
How can I?
How can I ignore the inner call telling me to keep trying. Keep pushing. Test the boundaries again and again and again. Jump out of the fishbowl.
How can I?
How can I not try my hand at making money my way, manipulating time my way, having endless fun and adventure, being inspired daily and providing the same for others, making what most would consider far-flung dreams or fantasies into my everyday reality. How can I not do that?
You ask my why I do this, why I push and push and often seem to spend days on end just pushing for the sake of pushing, why I constantly insist on going against the grain, why I refuse to live life the way I should, why I make plans that seem ridiculous or just flat out impossible?
You ask me why I’m so stubborn, where I get these beliefs from, why I don’t just grow up and get organised.
You ask me why, and you shake your head and you smile to yourself and think ‘one day she’ll get it’.
You ask me why and you’re certain that your way is right because you have the majority and because it’s quite simply the way the world is; the way life is.
You ask me why and you’re absolutely confident that there’s no answer I can give you that can explain it.
But I look at you and all I can think is –
Really, honestly –
How can I not?
Life is Now. Press Play.