Why You Sabotage Just When Things are Going Well – And How to Break that Pattern
I just had my Biosignature measurements re done, the first official re-measure since starting my fitness model photo-shoot diet plan. You’d think I would have been happy that I was down 0.8% (to 14.7), but actually I was pretty annoyed at myself. And even though my measurements were followed by one of the most brutal workouts of my entire life, which felt great, there was an undercurrent of irritation at myself.
You see I knew that if I had have been measured 2 weeks earlier, I would have come in leaner by at least another percent.
I seem to have (had!) this thing where as soon as I start to create positive flow and momentum in any area of my life I freak out and stuff it up.
Have you ever done that?
You know, you lean down a little bit by really giving your training and clean eating your all, and then you have one day of half-hearted ness which somehow morphs into another day, and then another, and then a week.
And it can all change so quickly can’t it? I’ll have a day where I feel like I am truly rocking my skinny jeans and I’m so proud of myself and confident and happy and then as little as a week later it’s muffin-top-a-rama. SO annoying.
But the annoying part isn’t even really the actual weight gain is it? It’s more the irritation and even the confusion as to how this actually happened.
How you slipped off track without evens really noticing it.
How what felt easy and automatic and even fun last week is now suddenly tough and undesirable.
And how on earth it is that you just keep doing this, keep sabotaging yourself right before you get to your goal.
And perhaps it’s not even just about your body. Maybe it’s a pattern that you have in many areas, manifesting sudden expenses or emergencies just when things are going well financially or fighting with your partner out of the blue right after a period of calm and happiness.
What it’s really about, if you’re honest, is fear.
Fear and a belief that you can’t have it – whatever it may be.
That you don’t have what it takes to have that body, that life. That it’s ‘not for you’ or that the path to get there would simply be too hard, too tough, too impossible to maintain.
Fear that others would judge you or that maybe you would not quite get there even if you did give it your all or that other areas in your life would suffer or simply that you wouldn’t enjoy it.
Kill the fear.
The reality is that until you acknowledge no then kill off those fears and beliefs, you will continue this pattern.
One step forward, one set back. Or worse.
And you will beat yourself up and punish yourself internally and jump from new idea to new idea in your quest to find the missing link or magic answer, and you’ll feel guilty and wonder why you are so lazy or why you just don’t want it enough when really all it’s about is this very old and really very silly – but yet still very valid – belief that you have about who you are. Who you can be.
And what it would take.
Tell me –
Are you willing to accept that idea that you can live your dreams if you can change your beliefs?
Are you willing to believe it’s possible to completely transform one or several areas of your life, to do so effortlessly and joyfully, and to be able to then easily and happily maintain it?
Are you willing to even entertain those beliefs, even if you don’t ‘feel’ them, even if you’d just be saying you’re willing when deep down it seems impossible?
Or would you prefer to keep believing that reaching and then maintaining your goal would require hard slog. Sacrifice. Monk-like discipline. No fun. Too much time and effort. Or that it’s just not for you; not something you’re supposed to ever have.
The thing with getting rid of old beliefs and imprinting new ones, is that it’s a practice. A journey not a destination. And there will always be a new layer.
So every day, you peel away a little more. Let go of what you’ve been holding onto so tightly. Accept the concept that it could be possible, even if accepting simpl means writing it or saying it repeatedly until you finally start to actually believe even a little of what you’re saying.
The best way to do this?
Journaling. I know, I keep going on and on about this. I’m like the poster girl for journaling I think.
But it’s not about the fact that I’m a writer, it’s simply something I have benefitted from so much – and noticed such a dramatic difference without – that I’ve learned to come back to it time and time again no matter what and especially when I feel I don’t need to
And the most powerful thing of all to journal about?
Gratitude. Thankfulness. And a vision of what’s to come.
So right now, pull out that journal or a piece of paper or the note app on your phone. And write 10 things that you are grateful for about our body. Make 5 of them things that re not yet true, I.e. I am so happy and grateful that my stomach is becoming flatter each day.
And then do a little free writing, or just sit and think, about your dream life. Your dream body, dream you. Write a vision of your day ahead, in specific detail. Exactly how you want to be and act and feel.
And if you dare, write a broader vision of what is to come for th rest of your year. For your life.
Write your future.
And then live it. Realise that you already are.
And always, always remember –
Life is Now. Press Play.