Live Your Passion

YEP. YOU CAN JUST DO RANDOM SHIT ALL DAY, AND TURN IT INTO AN ONLINE EMPIRE

In moments of vulnerability or insecurity, when I’m being ‘extra human’ and being hard on myself for all that I’ve not yet become, I find myself bemoaning the fact that I don’t really DO anything.

Take just now, for example.

I jumped off a quick little livestream on the topic of purpose, and sat down to eat my lunch. As I ate, I half-heartedly looked through Facebook messages and resisted the idea of writing today’s blog post.

“What’s the point?”, I thought.

“It’s not like any of it really adds UP to anything, anyway!”

lol… sure, I guess millions in revenue per year, and countless of thousands of people impacted, but, whatever!!

As I got up to wash my plate I found myself coming to a stop in the middle of my kitchen and just kind of sighing with heaviness.

You know the feeling –

It’s that feeling we ALL get, as those who were born for more and ALWAYS FUCKING KNOW IT’S STILL OUT THERE, that we’re not DOING enough.

That we’ve barely even begun!

And that maybe NOTHING we’re doing even matters.

And I couldn’t help but get drawn into a little bit of not-too-helpful self-talk. Although maybe it WAS freakin’ helpful, actually! Since it’s now ended us here and all 

But anyway, here’s what my mind was saying. And perhaps you can relate? –

“You’re not even DOING anything. It’s not like you’re BUILDING anything. All of these blogs and livestreams and little stories and rants on Facebook every day; you think that’s a REAL business? Pah! It’s not GOING anywhere, it just disappears in smoke the second you’ve done it and it doesn’t ADD to something REAL, which you COULD be creating!”

Kind of like my whole life just feels like a Snapchat story, gone after 24 hours, or even less, and meaningless therefore, completely.

As I thought all of this, vague ideas danced around my head, that what I SHOULD be spending my time on each day is Something More Entrepreneurially Grown-Up.

And I had a half-formed picture in my mind of Men and Women Who Are Real Entrepreneurs sitting looking stern and officious at their computers, frowns upon their foreheads as they Earnestly Built Things.

You know … REAL things.
Things that last!
Things that LOOK like businesses and like something that was CREATED, and completed.

Whereas me, all I do is dance and play all day, just make random shit up, throw it at the internet, live in the MOMENT, who the hell do I think I am, and who am I KIDDING?!

All of which is basically just NOT what I wanna be FEELING on a Thursday afternoon; I want to feel alive, and lit up, and in flow, and like I’m DOING something that MATTERS!

So, I did what any sane person would do, and I pulled out the box of FANCY chocolates.

This mood called for back-up!

I also did what any good GROWTH-orientated person would do, and I started to journal this shit out.

And I wrote:

“What I feel like, is that I’m not creating anything sustainable.
I feel like I need to BUILD something, like everything I’m doing is just in the moment and doesn’t last, or really serve a purpose.
It’s just for today … it’s not creating GROWTH.
But, is that really true?

A quote suddenly jumped back into my head, one I had only half an hour earlier come up with on my livestream:

‘you’ll know what the picture looks like because you paint it – it’s not supposed to be about seeing it all in advance and then following a plan to bring it to life! You bring it to life because you DO it!’

And, well, I am creating growth, it’s silly to say I’m not.

I have a tribe, a business, a following, I’ve grown that.

And really, everything that we give our time to each day which feels like it’s just repeating the same shit each day – such as time tending to our kids or loved ones, working out, inner work, prayer, whatever – over TIME builds something amazing. Such as a relationship … a transformation … understanding … a life.

So what ELSE is it I want to grow then, or what do I want to grow that I’m not currently?”

And I stopped and thought about this for a bit, but, as pretty much ALWAYS happens when I dig in and look at if I want to CHANGE anything in my life, I came up with nothing.

The truth is I’ve been doing what I was born for for a long time now … YES there always gets to be ‘more’, I don’t mean there’s not. But, I’m following my purpose. I’m doing my soul work. I know that. And I know that the way I will FIND the ‘more’, and see the beautiful fucking picture brought to life, is by continuing to just show up and live every day moment by moment based on what I am being TOLD to, from within.

Aka: keep on doing what I’m already doin’ … including understanding that from time to time I WILL feel down, not good enough, triggered, or worried that I’m ‘missing something’, and so will YOU, and that THAT’S OKAY! In fact, it’s a great opportunity to look within, reaffirm who you are and that yes you ARE on track, as well as fine-tune where relevant.

I turned back to my journaling, and wrote:

“you just keep throwing things at the wall, thinking that most of it’s meaningless or not working, and then one day you look up and you created a beautiful fucking picture”

And all of a sudden, I knew that THIS is what I get to write about today for you.

The fact that when you feel like you don’t know where any of this is going, and why are you so disorganised, and shouldn’t you be following a proper fucking plan, that instead you get to OWN how powerful you are and how gifted you are, to be such a high-level creator who truly CAN just do random shit every day –

Following flow –

And have it become an online empire.

But for this to work, for you AND for me, you do have to trust in the bigger picture, and how it’s all coming together.

The truth is that I am CRAZY disorganised … and also just crazy, period, lol. I don’t do shit that I think I ‘should’ do. I literally just make stuff up all day every day, based on what FEELS good … right … aligned … exciting … or fun … and I kinda just chuck it against the wall.

A lot of the time, and even to this day obviously, that feels scary.

Too messy!
So random!
UNPROFESSIONAL.
And like everybody else (the stern ones in their suits!!) is clearly doing it PROPERLY while meanwhile you’re acting like a kid in art class.

And at low points or ‘human AF points’ you might be hard on yourself, as I was today.

Telling yourself it’s time to grow up, get serious, build something REAL.

But, spoiler alert, ’cause I KNOW you, I AM you, and I know this is what’s gonna go down – you’re never going to manage to DO that baby.

You could plan it out to the DOT point, this ‘real’ thing you think you need to do, and you just.won’t.do.it.

You’ll walk away.
Or sabotage.
Or simply get distracted by an awesome bright shiny cool and fun CRRRRRRAZZZY idea.
And you’ll probably even completely FORGET you were trying to follow a plan.
You’ll dance and play around the internet.
Occasionally freaking out that you’re wasting time and everybody else is BETTER.
But continually still just following your heart.
And letting what’s inside you, out, what you can’t NOT, out.
And you’ll worry
And you’ll wonder
And you’ll WEEP at times, about how you can’t seem to get your shit together and you’re SUCH a hot mess

But yet, because it’s who you ARE, you will in fact CONTINUE TO BE THIS PERSON.

And then one day –
Assuming you actually give in to this messy madness inside of you DAILY, and FUCK the rules – !

You’ll wake up.
You’ll look around.
And you’ll realise –

That while everybody else was playing Be a Good Grown-Up or Entrepreneur, and you were dancing and playing and laughing and following the flow and just doing what FELT right, making random shit up and chucking it at the wall –

You built a motherfucking empire.

MAKE NO MISTAKE GORGEOUS –

Few have what we have.
Few can create like we can create.
Few are ABLE to not only tune in but also to RESPOND to that internal guidance, and build it into something so breath-taking that it truly is like the art of the Masters.

QUIT MAKING YOUR MADNESS A BAD THING.

When what it actually is, is the GREATEST gift God gave you.

It’s time to say thank you.
Then shut the fuck up about tryna be like the boring ones.
And go paint the world the way you can’t not.

REMEMBER –

Life is Now! Press Play.

Kat

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